Happy Birthday Bee..

Today is my husband's birthday.

I've only personally known him for less than 3 years, and how delightful I am to know him and to be married to him. God has His ways to fulfill our wishes, He really took His time. My hubby is everything I had wish for. Loving, caring, funny, talented, smart, clingy, loyal, truthful... InsyaAllah he is everything I wished for...

In return, I have been at my best for him. Always by his side. I give in all the time. I make sure I give him enough love everyday and I try my best to make the house as homey as possible. And now when I'm pregnant, he has done the same for me and I appreciate it.

How I wish I could give more to you, dearie. We are not the rich people to pour with lavish gifts and expensive dinners and getaways. I believe our love is priceless and we appreciate the time we have together, and that's what I'll give to you. My love and devotion. Because for me, spending time with you is the most precious gift I can ever have. We joke, we talk, we gossip... I love that every moment! I hope you feel the same way too...

But, of course, I'm the type who spoils her mate. I'm getting you your long-waited gift, and I'm taking you out for a lovely dinner. It may not cost much, but I hope you will have a great birthday just by being with your wife and your unborn child.

Happy birthday, Bee... May your life is filled with love, joy and happiness... amin...

personal satisfaction

I just can't wait to get home and soak myself in my tub, with bubbles of aroma therapy essence. Believe me I'm addicted to it. That would be my only ultimate personal satisfaction for now as nothing could satisfy my inner needs, in other words unable to obtain it... Better than chocolate, better than cigarette, better than coffee, better than movies, better than anything else in the whole wide world. My solitary self, pampering myself while listening to DMB playing on my SE Walkman.. priceless. Fuck the world, I want to be in my tub and not think of anything.

Sigh... I sound like I need help.

1 out of 10

I just realized someone has rated me 1 out of 10. Heh.. Thank you for even coming into this blog. For your information, I don't give a shiznit about that rating. For all I know, I appreciate the tendency for even giving this lame blog 1/10. I would have rated myself 0/10. Guess I'm not so bad after all.. yihhaa!

visit these instead:

my favourite indie band
> Projekt AK
my friend's blog
> Beauty in Darkness
> Mrs. Papi
artsy
> devianART

Fall of Dark

From the start
She knew she had it made
Easy up 'til then
For sure she'd make the grade
Adorers came in hordes
To lay down in her wake
Gave it all she had
But treasures slowly fade
Now she's falling hard
Feels the fall of dark
How did this fall apart?
She drinks to fill it up
A smile of sweetest flowers
Wilted so and soured
Black tears stain the cheeks
That once were so admired
She thinks when she was small
There on her father's knee
How he had promised her,
"You'll always be my baby."
"Daddy come quick,
The dreaming tree has died
I can't find my way home
There is no place to hide
The dreaming tree has died."

propose the world has to offer

and then chuck it into the drain...

thanks for wasting my time.

cry cry cry... hishhhh

I easily cry nowadays. Don't know why. Maybe I feel ugly or insecure. Maybe I feel imperfect. Maybe I feel I have so many flaws. Maybe I'm just depressed.

Kememeh la aku nih! Benci!

Maybe I'm just pregnant.. sigh...

I pray to Allah for the safety of my child and myself. I hope to delivery her safely and in a normal way. I pray for our health too. I pray she's perfect physically and mentally. I pray she makes me happy. Aminnn.....

A day to comfort my Depression

Yesterday I purposely took a day off because my head was not in place. I was depressed after going through some difficulties with myself and my inner self, my health and what not! I was spotting the day before and went for checkup at HUKM. You can read my journey at Biq's. Thank you Biq and Elly for taking me to the hospital and to go through so much hassle!! It was everything from the spotting to the journey that just made me down. Yes.. yes... I'm easily depressed... so what??? I know my limits so shut up!

The alarm went off at 7 a.m. and I mumbled to Hubby that I didn't want to go to work. Then he said he'll accompany me. So we both went back to sleep. I guess he knew I was not mentally stable. I slept and slept and refuse to get up. At noon, hubby woke me and I came to realise I should continue my day as a wife. So, I quickly prepared a quick lunch (last nights dinner which I skipped). We lazed around the house, entertained by our adorable cat and re-bonding our love, since the night before I was behaving odd and emotional. Hubby was very patient with my depressed personality and was trying to make me feel better, although I know he isn't the kind to persuade.

Later Hubby took me out for McD's! Yeay! I was craving for it for the past 2 days (siap mimpi2 tau). Before that we went to AmBank to get the copy of my car grant. I made a call earlier, the original copy is at Yap Kwan Seng, but they told me to go to Wangsa Maju to collect the fax copy since I don't have a fax machine. It was easy, I thought... By the time I reached AmBank Wangsa Maju it was still early, about 3.15p.m. I told them what I wanted and they told me to wait. We waited until 4 p.m. and the guy at the counter called me. He said if I went to Yap Kwan Seng, it could have been faster. I stared at him and said, "Sama je lambat, sana kena tempuh traffic jam lagi, parking lagi.. heii... takyah la.. baik sini.. fax aje kan?". Then he told me he had trouble contacting them and asked me for their extension number. Excuse me? You are asking ME for YOUR HQ branch number?? Do you want me to teach you management? Because I have a list of what you can do to contact the bloody HQ Branch! I just talked to them, goddammit! And I just sat down again and prepared my speech, just in case they couldn't get my copy. Why the hell don't they have directories to their own HQ and branches?? Aren't they carrying the same products? Fine, do it the hard way. Make a fool of yourselves by asking your customers for your own numbers. Funny..

Later we ate at McD's. Joking about Hubby's friends and all. Then he mentioned he wanted to eat steamboat for dinner (now it's his turn to crave). So we quickly went to Giant to buy the ingredients. I bought my coconut drink which I craved since a week ago.

We head home and laze some more. Played the PS2. Played with the cat. Then had our steamboat dinner. I think we spent an hour finishing our dish! Thanks to my friend, Esmi for the steamer as a wedding gift. I was darn full I couldn't even lie down!

And so we watched tv, chatted, gossiped, laze some more and more... and straight to bed.

Thank you Hubby for a wonderful lazy day. You're very caring and romantic. Hanging out with you is always my pleasure. I'm now feeling better and happy as usual. As long as you're with me, everything will be alright. You don't know how little a sweet gesture from you could change how I feel. Love you sweetie!

In Memory of LeRoi Moore

I just knew today... My favourite band; Dave Matthews Band's saxophonist, LeRoi Moore passed away on 19 August 2008.

Rest in Peace... LeRoi Moore (1961-2008)

Projekt AK @ NTV7

My favourite local indie band would always be Projekt AK, period. They've been around ever since I started learning how to be street wise. Those were the days when we want to rebel, seeking for freedom, searching for your own identity... sigh... Those were the days... Gigs before were something to look forward to. And for a period, the gig scene kinda died. Now I see it rising again.

After the phenomenal era of the rock kapak, I seriously hated the local scene. Nothing beats the original rock kapak. Then came the rock leleh. Ok that's when I hated the local music scene. Alternatively, indie bands were the youth's choice. That's why at the time, indie bands were doing so great. You'd be surprised to know those youngsters play better than the mainstream artists. Indie bands make music. Mainstream bands just play, according to song producers and composers, just to hit their market sales. I have nothing against our local artists. I just prefer underground music. Baru feel...

Projekt AK's latest lineup are Rudy (Vocal), Faizal (Drums), Syami (Guitar), Andy (Bass) and Amy (Guitar). Though Amy chooses not to perform in gigs due to personal matters, he definitely plays a big role in the band, always. They are currently busy recording their latest album, title yet to be defined. Fans will notice the biggest difference is that there won't be anymore rapping in the album. They've all matured to a different approach but still maintaining the Funk genre. Agak kelakar la kalau nak tengok Rudy terkinja-kinja sambil rapping at his age la kan? I'm not saying that he can't, though. And I'm not saying he's old too.. hahaha... but I ain't saying he's young either. None of them are anyways. Whatever it is, true fans will want to listen to them no matter what.

So if you're a fan, was a fan, or wanting to be a fan, check them out tomorrow!

PROJEKT AK
Channel: NTV7
Show: 1...2...Jus! (Guest performing artist)
Time: 8.30 pm (I guess they will appear around 9.10pm..?)

If......... you missed the show, you can watch the reruns on Sunday I think (Astro) what time I don't know, or stream the reruns online at NTV7 website, but you can't forward or rewind.. which is a turnoff, plus if you're using Maxis Broadband jangan harap la nak tengok secara aman...



Enjoy!

Borang Permohonon Rebat Tunai Kenderaan Persendirian

Today I claimed the RM625 personal car rebate from the post office. It was an easy procedure. I downloaded the form from here, filled up my details, brought along my IC and queued for an hour at the post office. Once I was at the counter, I just handed over the form and IC, waited for the guy at the counter to check my status online, then he handed me the stamp pad for me to chop my thumbprint on the form and he handed me the cash... easy weasy... I didn't even muttered a word.

So boys and gals, don't forget to get your rebate!

Back to Work...

Yeap, it's Tuesday and I'm back in the office... moodless! Raya was great for me. I had a last minute shopping before going back to kampung. I'm surprised hubby was so so so patient while I shop. I can be very choosy at times. But it didn't take long, 3 hours of shopping, you think? I used to shop from day to night. That was when I was 21. Full of energy and the will to look good. Now I'm married with a baby inside me, I did mellow down a lot!

So, 3 days before raya we drove back to Kampung Gajah. I tell you we spent a lot. Buying chicken and stuff for raya prep. I slept a lot too at kampung because the weather was so hot! And fasting too for the last few days.

As usual on Raya day, the guys would go for prayers while the girls prepare food. Relatives would come in a big group, without fail. I didn't help much, I guess I babysit most of the time. This year we have 4 newborn nephews, where 2 of them are twins. Imagine the cries.. hehe..

Later, we'd as for forgiveness from each other, starting from the eldest to the youngest. Asking forgiveness from my husband is the most touching moment every year. Without finishing my sentences we'd both go into tears. It's like reminding us how much we depend on each other and why we're together in the first place. Of course along the way, we hurt each other unintentionally despite loving each other to death. As my friends always describe our love as Cinta Mati (macam cintan maut la). We are passionate people, I must say.

The highlight of this hari raya is of course our vacation in Penang with my family (for me la at least). We'd stay at our usual place; Century Bay. But this time Berjaya has taken over the management and they totally suck in managing the service apartment there. We've been returning to the same service apartment for more than 5 years, and this year must be the worst service we've ever received. The room given was a wreck. Toilet door looked like it had been hit by an elephant or something. My poor sis had to sleep on a Hospital Bed with tilam span (used to be wooden single bed frame with spring mattress)! They charge RM40 for the iron and gas (for cooking). Washing machine looked like it had been kungfu chopped by Bruce Lee. The list goes on.. But it's okay. I'll try to find alternative next year.

On Friday, we went to Ferringhi to shop! Hubby and I were busy looking for anything to decorate our dull house. We managed to get a few and I spent around RM110 for 2 beautiful pieces. I must admit I didn't get the best offer for myself, probably I was already too tired then. But I did bargain like hell for my sis's dress, accessories and loads more. She was shopping like a queen! And I was the confidante bargaining at her side.. haha.. We then continued to eat at Gurney drive but we went there a little too late. So we had to continue our food journey the next day.

Saturday, we visited our Aunt's house, also at Ferringhi. We didn't eat a lot as we were saving our tummy for more food! On the way down from the open house, we stopped by Tanjung Bungah for laksa and rojak. Damn it was good! Later, my parents and us (me, hubby, sis and bro) split up for different choice of activities. We went on to meet Jibam and Syami nearby our apartment which later led us to Bayan Lepas for Char Kuey Teow. But we couldn't eat no more. Trying to save some space for Gurney. And later, at Gurney was more rojak buah, laksa, muachi, sotong, etc. My stomach was about to explode with all the yummy food!

Sunday, our grand finale. We stopped by our late grandma's graveyard to say some prayers for her. And then we were off for our last chance to eat whatever we can. Padang Brown was first. Pasembor (doesn't taste like it used too), bubur cha-cha, sup urat. And then Jalan Kapitan Keling for nasi kandar. I was longing for telur sotong, which had been sold out for the past 2 days! Thank God it was available or else my baby would be drooling all over! haha.. that's what they say.

After a few more stops for nutmeg and jeruk, it was time to go home. Traffic was bad before Tapah, but after that it was okay.. moving but not fast.

This Hari Raya was spent lavishly. Since hubby and I received some bonus from the company and this year we were able to take one week leave. And now, I'm broke.. hahaha.. but happy... Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir Batin!

All Smiles

Selamat Hari Raya to all...
Have a safe journey...
And always remember, forget everything and have fun during Raya (but not too much fun ya? pantang)

As for me, I'll be heading back to my hubby's hometown in Perak this Sunday. Beraya di sana dulu since Along wont be around this year, we all have to accompany mak earlier. Along is like the father in the family 'coz he's the eldest. Never had a chance to meet late daddy-in-law. I bet I would have been close to him 'coz we're all in the music scene, well sort of. Anyway, I can't imagine Along not around. Last year he was around and things went smoothly.. I wonder about this year. Never did Raya without him yet. Gonna miss him and his family though. They're the sunshine of the family.

2nd Raya, my mission will begin to roam Penang as much as I can and forget about my diet whatsoever! Spending time with my crazy family has always been my happiness. We're one loud family, unlike my in-laws who are more polite and shy people. I don't know if hubby is okay with our craziness and kecoh-ness. Sabar je la ye?

I heard some of hubby's friends are going to Penang too. I'm gonna make sure they eat what I eat!

SELAMAT HARI RAYA EVERYONE! MAAF ZAHIR BATIN!!

dibitz is officially on vacation... until further notice...

BBQ time!

Saturday :: 20 September 2008 :: Biq and Sharul's Crib


It's been a year or so that we got together, the gals and I. Most of us are married so commitment has taken away some of our "freedom". Not that I'm complaining, but we all do know our priorities and we're all happy the way we are. Anyway, we still chat online, duh!

And so our mini-BBQ-cum-long-time-no-see-get-together included my hubby and I, Biq and Sharul (the hosts), Skin and Hasrul, Elly and Arab, Deb and Nan, Enda and Majid, Aisha and Wan, and Ashraf. Hubby and I made sure we arrived as early as we can, 4pm, and that was after we went to the mechanic to service our car (Raya's coming!). Deb joined earlier too with some desserts. Starting the fire was a pain in the ass as always. Biq had pre-marinaded the lamb, chicken, beef, sausages, prawns, squids and what not. We even had corns! Yummy! I love BBQ!

Later Enda and Majid came with frozen otak-otak. It did taste good! Pedas! Then Skin came

with mashed potato, pasta salad and coleslaw. Terer hang buat eh. Nan and Ashraf arrived the

same time. Elly and Arab brought drinks. The table was full I can say! By 6.30pm food was still not ready. Oh dear, we panicked for a bit. Nan suddenly said his previous tenant left a BBQ set, and asked maybe we could add another set. Why not? We've got kilos of chicken to cook! Surprisingly, his BBQ set was way nicer than mine! Okay, to start another fire was another hell... haha... (Nan and Deb moved house and at the same row as Biq's! How great is that?)

We thought we could stop cooking by break fast, yea rite. It went on until 10.30pm... hehe.. But we ate, cooked, drank, gossiped, ate some more, cooked some more... Oh let me brag a little if you don't mind; thank you my dear hubby who started the fire and stayed by the BBQ set until all food was cooked. Only to rest a little and you kept on cooking. You're a real champion and a BBQ king! I love you! The other BBQ set was handled by Majid, Arab and Nan. As we know, they're a funny bunch and we couldn't stop laughing! If only I had my video camera at the time.

Then Aisha and Wan arrived and the house became more happening. Dia ni takleh jumpa makcik Biq mesti kecoh. The leftovers were alot! But good thing all of us brought back some, and nothing was left wasted. All I can say is that it was a great BBQ, we had fun, food was delicious and we were all exhausted.

Hubby and I of course continued our Saturday night with Amy at Sentul. It's like a must to just hang out there. Hehe.. We finally went home at 4am. What a day... what a day...

Thank you Biq and Sharul for being the host. Your house is lovely! Sorry for the mess though.


Pictures credits to Biq. For more, visit www.sekupang.net

Wonderful Wednesday

Yesterday hubby and I took leave. We went for our baby check up and Alhamdulillah all's fine. So fine that the doctor told me not to come until the next 2 months. She advised me to see my normal GP if nothing abnormal occurs, 'coz for such a simple check up might take forever in the hospital. That's fine with me, so long I can claim from my office. I'm just a weeee bit dissapointed 'coz we couldn't see the gender yet. The doctor said it's still too early. I think she's just plain malas for the day. Maybe there were too many patients she'd just have to skip my request. It's okay though, I can wait.

On Tuesday, my favourite Quiksilver sandal finally gave in. Putus talinya. After 2 1/2 years of service, I finally have a reason to get a new sandal for myself. And I was eyeing Crocs for a very long time. Oh yea, I'm the type of girl who don't really pair shoes with occasions. I just slip into my slippers and go. Selekeh kan? Selekeh with style lor. Not like some people, dress up with all their might but only manage to look like a Christmas tree.

And so hubby took me straight to Crocs at the Curve and I bought myself a new sandle! Yiihaa! Okay, I may splurge a little bit too much for a slipper, but I only wear that and that everyday and everytime. I don't wear heels, sneakers, or whatsoever fashion out there. So I make sure I get one pair of goddam good sandals to last another 4 years! (Since the price is double my Quiksilver). Freakin' expensive, demmit!

Later we headed to SS2, met up with Mynn and hung around the area for like 2 hours, going into boutiques, pharmacies, DVD stores.. trying to kill time until break fast. Yeap, we broke fast at Murni. To my ashame, I didn't know that place existed! It's the same concept as William's and I think it's more comfortable there. The mamak stall concept is definitely more appealing than William's.

At around 6 we sat down and Aisha arrived soon later. I ordered roti beacon. Kinda like murtabak, except the filling was tuna and salami, wrapped in canai and topped with mayonnaise. Hubby ordered seafood spaghetti which was yummy. Mynn ordered mi raja. I guess this is the customers' favourite dish, 'coz I see averagely every table has one mi raja. Aisha ordered mozzarella beacon which is actually roti naan with mozzarella and salami for it's filling. The drinks were my favourite, pure mango puree juice with nata de coco, longan and watermelon! Same treatment goes to Aisha and Mynn's ice blended Ribena.

I ordered mi raja for our sahur. All in all in costed me and hubby RM29. Not bad, huh? I'm definitely going there again.

We went home and tried out the PS2 game we bought, and I fell asleep while hubby enjoyed his favourite manga game. It was definitely a happy day for me. Baby's fine, new sandals, great food, great chat, smiling hubby... I love my life!

Dissapointment

Yup, I guess they were right. The Ikea Ramadhan Buffet 2008 was a dissapointment. Choice of food was too little. I remembered last year I could purposely leave out some food coz they were too many to choose from. But unlike this year, the only dish that caught my eye was the chilli prawn... and guess what, the prawn wasn't really fresh. But I ate my heart out, so what. I made sure I get value for my money back. Plus I had fun hanging out!

I'll check out the menu first next year before I go in.

tips on fasting during pregnancy

I'm 5 months and fasting. I'm sure most expecting mothers fast too. But I do hear some don't, maybe just a few days... some not at all!

To me fasting is Allah's wish, he wants us to do it for Him. So, if He wishes so, it couldn't be that bad right? Allah Maha Mengetahui apa yang terbaik untuk kita. It is said that if you're a laborer or a pilgrim, then you may break fast if you have to. So it applies to those who can't bear to fast maybe due to tiredness or dehydration or in my case if the baby is feeding on all your energy.

But so far, my 'lil darling in my tummy has been behaving very well during this fasting month. I'd probably want to thank the tips I read on the internet; which is during your last meal during sahur before Imsak, drink milk and eat some dates. Everyday, I make sure I do that. Sahur, One glass of warm milk and 3 dates. It works like a miracle. I don't get hungry at all nor do I feel my heart burning (that's what they say when they feel the baby is feeding on you). I work at a construction site and I can get pretty stressed you see. If it works for me, it should work for you.

But, if you're 8 months pregnant or going in labor than I have no right to suggest what so ever. Ask your doctor for tips and suggestions. Probably don't fast at all, ok? I'm no pro here.

Other than that, happy fasting!

Ikea Buffet?

So far I haven't buka puasa outside yet. Tomorrow will be my first buka puasa date with hubby dearest! Yeayyy!!! And we plan to go to Ikea's Ramadhan Buffet. Last year we went there, the food wasn't all that bad. Although they don't serve their famous meatballs, which soooo many of them are complaining, I don't mind the malay dish they serve. Come on la, what do you expect from RM15.90? (I hope the price is still the same) As I remember their food variety was quite wide and I ate my heart out. Comparing to buying food at the Bazaar Ramadhan, I'd spend almost the same amount of money, but less food. So, I can't say it's not worth it.

Can't wait 'til tomorrow.. It's not the food that I'm crazy about, it's about me buka puasa with my hubby at my favourite hang out. Bliss...


Oh, I forgot.. some of my friends are doing this buka puasa get together thing at Sabak Melati tomorrow, but I just couldn't join them. I've planned this for so long. And next week more buka puasa with friends, family and colleagues to schedule. I guess if I don't go to Ikea tomorrow, my 'lil baby will be kicking inside me... tee hee... mengidam!

Penangggg...!!

It's the 2nd week of puasa and I'm already thinking of Penang!

Every year, my family and I would take a trip back to Penang Island, book a service apt for 4 days, eat all we can and shop all we like! Just by thinking about it, I start to drool! Pasembor, oyster goreng, nasi kandar, asam laksa, ABC, sotong kering (I used to call it sotong gila when I was younger), muaci, and more! more! more! Hubby first joined us last year and he's already hooked with our yearly family activity... I can't wait!!

And not to forget shopping at Ferringhi... I would really spend like hell!!

But for now, I have to concentrate on my fasting... astaghfirullah........

When the truth become lies...

I want to say so many things
But I hold them to myself for so many reasons
When truth become lies
And lies are what they believe
Then the truth will just remain
As it is
Undiscovered not wanting to be recovered
Forced to hold my silence
Counting my patience
My emotions
Are now numb
Though I don't feel dumb
When I say believe me and they don't
When they question me I say don't
They told me marvellous tales
And never hold them as told
I get frustrated
When their lies are lies
And my truth are also lies
So I'd rather keep it to myself
And enjoy the bliss found in silence
For that's when I found my happiness
When I started being patient
I lose nothing when I lost everything
And I gained more than what I've been praying

Bee, you bring me happiness...

Your bleeding hands

It's not that I don't care
When your hair is out of place
Or when you cry in your sleep
I never was too eager
To say something cheap
And lie to your face
That everything's gonna be okay
Material I can give
Happiness that's what I pray
Everyday
For you
I never was unsincere
Do you remember the time
I laid my hand on your bleeding hands?
And sealed it with compassion of a friend
Think of the times I spent
Hours of cans
I was there
Only...
When you needed me...
So don't question
Don't play judging
Because I never asked for your compassion
Not once...
You can despise
You can pull a face
I don't care
Because YOU never did lay
Your hand on my bleeding hands...

Never!

Without Fail :)

Never thought I'd love again
This way
The pain
That I love to feel
Again and again and again
You just lift me up
And make my day
You please me
Tease me
And love me
Without fail

The way you look at me
Stare at me
Gaze at me
Is enough for me
To know that you are the one
I want to spend the rest of my life
Not abandoned
Not alone

When you speak to me
I feel special
When you make love to me
It's undenial
You make me crave for more
More of your love
More of you
I can't get enough of you, baby...

I don't know how else I can express
My love to you
To show you that I'm true
We've been through hard times
I guess it's enough
I just want you to be mine
Enough of those stuff
Leave it all behind
And I'll love you everyday
With all my heart I will
Because I know you'll love me
Without fail...

a sip of coffee

sitting, sipping, staring...
on a monday morning
loving the days of my life
loving the man of my life
as i kissed his forehead when he is sleeping
as i pray the love we have everlasting
as we wait for the fruit of love
as i watch the sky above
i know i've been blessed
with everything that i have
everyday is a wonderful day for me
for i have never been so happy
to have him by my side
to have it in my life
to have the love like i've always wanted
to have all my dreams granted
i am blessed
truly blessed...

as i sip my coffee
thanking the days i'm having
and to make my days more interesting
i can feel it kicking...

okay, okay mommy will stop drinking
the coffee that kept me day dreaming

i love you sweetie pie
and i love your daddy too 'til i die

yup.. today is the first kick after 18 weeks...

Another You

In a brisk of dusk
When we needed it most
You just slam it down to the ground
Did anyone ask?
About the loss
Something that I know can never be found

And when I thought
I had my wings spread wide
You came and shatter my pride
What is this?
Another vibe?
I thought I was one of your lies

It's okay, I'm used to it
I'm even used to dying
So when is it this time, Dear God?
Another year of crying
Until you succumb my revenge?
I'm tired of waiting
I'm tired of just watching
Just blast out the vengeance

Guess you can't count
The crows when they're flocking mad
So I'll just sit here
And continue feeling sad
Until the day when You decide
To wipe the dark sky silky white
Because I don't want another you
I don't want another you
I don't fucking want.. another.. youuuuuuuuuuuuu!

As I step away from the garden of youth
Where we all behave like there's no truth
I walk backwards so I can see
The eyes that stare at me
Because I don't want no pack
Pouncing on my back
Sly as a fox, evil like the wolf
We're all pack of wolves
We're all you.. we're all just like you.

Modern Men Are Bitches

Jangan baca. Luahan hati je.

---

I can't believe how bitchy men are nowadays. Where did all the nice gestures, gentleman ways when in pressense of a lady? I can see the difference between elderly man and the younger generation men. It's no wonder why some girls DO PREFER OLDER MAN. It's because they have sense of manners and responsibility!

I'm currently working at site and people here ranged from young to old, all races, both sexes. I have two guys, not working directly under me, but generally we all do have to work as a team, right? But some particular motherfuckers are such hard heads and a lazy ass-bums who are too lazy to even check on the delivery schedule! I received instructions from HQ to do something totally out of our scope, and I tried to fight for my team so we don't have to do unnecessary work, which I know my team is too lazy to do it. I'm lazy to do things out of my scope too, you see. I fought for our rights, and HQ shot back at me. So, okay. Fine. I'll do it. I told those guys to help me out, and what did I get? Hatred in their eyes, as if I puposedly wanted them to do the job! I told them I fought for us, but then they started mocking me. What the fuck, man? What did I do to deserve this?

There's no point of explaining to them because the guys here are just too stubborn to listen, and such a big sulk! I hate cry babies, okay! That's a girls thing! And our 'mini' boss is such a biased longwinded moron! He dumps all the bloody paper works to us girls, and let those guys do the easy jobs, for example receiving goods. They even have time to go for a tea break, twice a day! We have so much paper work to do, we don't have time to do calls to vendors. We told Mr' 'mini' boss we need the guys help to follow up with vendors, but NO.. they had to just give us girls the calling job. So, fine! We'll do that too! We're here working our asses off so that things are in order, and they think we're bossy? A little help wouldn't hurt those muscular built, would it?? Tak JANTAN la korang! Such wusses and pussies. Girls are so much tougher than any of you! (I'm currently talking only about the boys at site)

Guys now are smart to dump all the work to us girls, because they know we can do it. Girls are so independent, they don't need men to help, unless relating to lifting heavy stuff or what not. So, they take advantage of us. Not only that, guys now know how to sulk! Merajuk! If you sulk with your wife I don't care lah! Tak malu ke nak merajuk ngan orang lain? In front of other people pulak tu? If you compare with elderly men, they'd be happy to help at anytime, no doubt. When they ask for help, they'll ask very politely. In fact, I seldom see them ask for help. They'll do the job and if it comes to a dead end, they'll ask for help. With smiles and manners. They don't say nasty words. They don't give hints. They understand that women have tempers and are very sensitive, they avoid anything that would make us sad or mad. Because the elderly knows better that when they are kind to us, we are more than happy to give a helping hand when they need it.

Not like you young assholes. Dah la cakap tak berlapis. Malas. Kuat merajuk. Patu nak kita buat sumer keje? Ok, takpe... semoga anda goyang kaki tak kerja langsung sampai mati, and feed on your wives! Have a nice life!

Middle ring pedal to the metal

From: akira
Apr 21, 2005 10:15 PM

yeah!10 point for me! :D

dulu my office is at PhileoPromenade,ampang,then moved to PJ :( jauh.now kat Bukit Jalil Golf&Country club.
Baru 3 month kat sini.Selalu i lunch kat SriPetaling. tak best nyer tempat makan are situ kan?tp ada Secret Recipe!

hahaha..muka u serious je masa driving,liek tgh amik gambar IC,comel sgt!
hope dpt jumpa u on the hiway lagi.next time i'll horn you..better beware! ;P

thanks for replying.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: dibitz
Date: Apr 20, 2005 3:11 AM

yeap! it was me alrite! hahahah... mmg i pegi keje kat sri petaling via mrr2. today is my 3rd day working here... is ur ofis around here too?? i thought ur office is around kl town. anyway, kalau u lalu2 sri petaling stop by la ye :)

thanks for noticing.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: akira
Date: Apr 20, 2005 6:00 PM

Hi dibz.

semalam around 630pm i rasa i nampak u tgh drive kereta putih..plat no bhvsumthing.. i cant remember.. kat middle ring road on. is that you?

mula2 u on my left side, mulut i tiba2 tercakap..eh dib!
then u potong i, n then ur on left side and i rasa.. eh mmg la tu dib.
i nak horn tapi takut nanti u terkejut n langgar kereta i pulak hehe.

btul ke tu u eh?


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The affair I didn't notice...
We'd switch traffic reports. Complained how sucky Sri Petaling and Bukit Jalil were. We exchanged mp3s. I'd listen to his problems. I'd scold him for being a fool. We'd sulk with each other for no reason.
I was jealous for no reason. He was angry for no reason.

We never talked.. until the following April.

He is my husband now...

April, always a surprise for me, year after year...

I love you. You always came back...

recharged

i'm back again. after revitalising and rejuvenating my mind, i feel like a new person altogether. it's not that i've been gone or anything. i was just blogging elsewhere and made new friends, out of my circle, out of the country. when you're sick with coffee, maybe you should try lemonade instead.

going through few months of solitary taught me how to appreciate life and what i've got. made me even more unimpressed with what others have to brag about, infact feeling annoyed most of the wasted time. apparently, other friends' passions impress me. i admire those who moved on and tried something new (nothing to do with vacation here, please), and those who sacrifice their free time to survive. i love people with ideas and implementing them. these are the people who make me more happy in the things i do.

and to find out from friends that they too face many challenges during their first year of marriage. it's like a test on us to see how we handle it. i guess we passed with crazy colours!

i'm definitely a happier person now. it's not easy to influence me anymore.


i appreciate the things around me and make the most of it. (motto of the year hehe)