Grave of the Fireflies

Who would have thought I'd see fireflies again? The last time I played around with fireflies was around... hmm... 12 years ago? I'm not all that 'jakun' with fireflies, but it's been awhile. I'm not talking about just 'a' firefly, but a swarm of them (betul ke pakai swarm nih?)...

So my trip to Sekinchan was not a short one. On New Years day, and also 2nd day of Aidiladha, b-Fyzal, ArabElly and I drove all the way to Sekinchan to visit Skin (figured the name?) and her family. We left at around noon, and we reached Sekinchan around 3pm (ye ke?). We were really hungry by the time we got there. At Skin's we had laksa thai, mee tomato, nasi tomato, etc. Mee tomato was delicious!! Kakak's recipe... I had 2 servings... hehehehe... So we chatted, laughed and gossiped.. hahaha... Skin's mom is really cool!!

Later, we wanted to check out Hj Punari's kerepek, but too bad it was closed, maybe due to Hari Raya. So, Skin took us to the seaside. Not the best sight, but the wind really made us high... yea, after the lunch and all... it was real breezy... sigh... Then, later we drove through the paddy fields. Left and right, all green. It was really relaxing. Makes you want to leave KL.

But the one thing that I'll remember most is our trip to the Fireflies Park. It's opened from 8pm-12pm daily and it costs RM10 per entry. Didn't think that the place would be crowded, with foreigners and locals. They took us in a motorboat, and lucky enough our boat was quiet. Not like some where the engines were noisy.

And through the lake we watched the fireflies, thousands and thousands of them, blinking away in the quiet bushes and trees. Behind us were 3 Japanese tourists, and they kept saying "sugoiii neee.... sugoiiii..." and it reminded me so much of Studio Ghibli's Grave of the Fireflies, where I watched with my dear Fyzal and quietly cried by his side (I bet he cried too).

As he held me close and whispered sweet nothings, in the quiet peaceful lake jungle, it's as if the rest of the world just vanished leaving the both of us in a world of our own. I'm sure ArabElly felt the same. I'm not sure about Skin, because she was with Is... hehehehe... As we approached the last few bushes, somehow the fireflies were ready to perform a magnificent show for us... they just simply blinked in synchronize! It was beautiful. And they said fireflies are slowly being extinct. You might see one or two fireflies here and there, but you won't find a swarm of them so often. I'm glad we still have them here in our country.

It's one of the most romantic rides ever... furthermore, with your loved ones and close friends with you.

About half an hour later, when the noise from the streets gradually being heard, we know that our ride has come to an end. Sigh... reality strikes back. We later then had a drink, at 2 places! hahaha... the first stop they didn't take our orders so after 10 minutes we decided to walk away and go to the next restaurant. The next one wasn't all that better though. So we hung out for awhile, ArabElly just couldn't take their eyes off......... the tv screen showing REMPIT THE MOVIE????? Come on, you guys..... hahahahaha...

And so we headed back to KL. I really didn't think that my trip to Sekinchan would be this interesting. Well, thanks to our sista Skin and her kampung neighbour Is for giving us the short tour ride. We're sure to go back there and check out other Fireflies Park. This time on a sampan! And probably with Biq! If Biq was with us, oh dear... havoc!


Grave of the Fireflies... here in my heart always...

for you...

i would.

if that's not enough... i don't know what.

my love.. b-Fyzal... my final destination.

...

like being strucked by lightning
unable to move
my weak body
unable to speak for it hurts
so afraid of saying the wrong things
that'll hurt the one i love...

i want to say something comforting
but it turns out to be worse
it turns out i'm not the Goddess of Love
i'm just some lame girl
ruining everyone's heart

and now he hates me
for what should i do now?
i'm lost without words
my tears can't stop streaming down my cheek
i feel like jumping off a cliff

i'm clueless now...

do you know i love you, bee?
do you?

do you know i love you?
do you know i love you?
do you know i love you?
do you know i love you?
do you know i love you?
do you know i love you?
do you know i love you?
do you know i love you?
do you know i love you?
do you know i love you?
do you know i love you?
do you know i love you?
do you know i love you?
do you know i love you?
do you know i love you?
do you know i love you?
do you know i love you?
do you know i love you?
do you know i love you?
do you know i love you?
do you know i love you?
do you know i love you?
so deep it hurts...
i'm hurt... without you...

i'm so sorry bee................ . . . .. . . . . . . . . .

follow your heart

have you ever had 2nd thoughts about your relationship?
well, if you do... trust your instincts. kalau dlm hati dah rasa takkan menjadi, maknanya takkan menjadi... trust me, it happened a lot of times with me.
the sad part is, when you love that person so much, but you have this gut feeling it's not gonna work, and you try to leave that person but you can't... but you know you had to... damn... time tu la rasa nak terjun bangunan...
but, if you do have this uncomfortable feeling it's not gonna work, you have 2 choices - leave it, or work it out...

Leave
it's not easy. the painful part is when the blame is on you. but worst of all the hurt inside.. deep inside where no one knows how you really feel. and you don't know what's ahead of you. how's tomorrow like? will you find someone better? can i survive? will the heartache ever stop... eventually it will stop, could be 2 weeks, 2 years, 20 years... no one knows... but when you do get over it, you'd see things clearer. the pain still lingers but when reality hits back, you'll understand why it's destined to be that way... not that i'm encouraging breakups, but when you do start to have 2nd thoughts, those 2nd thoughts WILL haunt you forever...

Work it out
sounds easy. if it turns out to be okay, you're the winner. and you'd appreciate your efforts more. only if you don't allow those 2nd thoughts to haunt you. but if it turns out to be what you've been doubt-ing (ada ke ayat ni?), then that's the risk you'll have to accept. i always choose to fight and work things out, up to a point i give up when it doesn't work out and go back to the first choice, where i'd leave. not strong enough to fight for your love? well, if the love is worth it, why not... if you think the suffer is worth it, by all means, God will repay for your patience, insyaallah...

i always remind myself, to love myself first., because i always neglect my own feelings.. so i choose to be selfish... i guess too much heartache taught me to be this way...

anyway, i'm happy with how i am now. no 2nd thoughts whatsoever. i try not to think too much anymore. plus the person i'm with right now has filled my heart with happiness... and i have no complains.

bee, stay strong with me... and let's stay in love...

meluat

i tgh bengang dgn sorang mamat ni, who turns out to be one of my clients. ok, sorry to offend any of you government servants out there, but i'm pointing out these few government servants who have 'titles', you know, ketua jab, timbalan pengarah, blablabla... urgh... i jijik ngan korang yg gatal2 ni tauuu.....

apa ko ingat aku ada bisnes ngan tempat ko, ko ada hak nak mempergunakan aku habis2? hey, although i do sales, that doesn't mean i have to entertain u 24/7. itu zaman lapok punya bisnes!! i sell quality products and i don't have to entertain u for the sake of getting ur order! eeeeeeee meluat! kalau ko ada hak nak reject barang aku pun takpe, reject la... nanti tempat ko sorang je takde product aku, which will make ur place look so lame using china brand products yg tak kualiti. pegidah. aku buat bisnes cara halal. no rasuah. no unnecessary entertainment. no nothing!

kalau ko nak tepon aku tgh2 mlm sbb nak borak bodoh, nak ajak aku pi minum sbb nak borak bodoh, takyah. aku takde masa. plus it won't do me any good. i tau setengah orang akan ckp "alaa... entertain government mmg camtu"... aaaa sori ek. aku ada cara lain nak entertain. aku bleh bagi ko present2 mahal, holiday package, hamper, duit pun aku bleh bagi kalau ko nak (rasuah la ni, although takat ni aku tak pernah bagi), tapi kalau nak borak2 bodoh ngan aku SORRY!!! mcm takleh borak masa aku buat casual visit ngan korang. ingat ko bleh call aku mlm2 semata2 nak borak? korang punya clock dah rosak ke apa? aku pun ada personal time ok????

korang ingat korang punya story spt "saya diberi tanggungjawab besar", "boss saya percayakan saya", "saya yg control semua kat sini", "saya belajar oversea", "saya busy man", etc akan buat aku lebih menjaga hati korang? boleh blah la... aku byk lagi client yg ikhlas buat bisnes ngan aku. i've learned how to smell skunks like you guys. and all of you make me sick to the max i feel like puking right at your crotch!!

ok ok.. sure korang ingat aku ni perasan la kan..? yes, aku perasan! aku perasan korang nak take advantage of me, tackle me, fool me, use me, etc. so what? ni badan aku la, aku ada hak nak jaga peribadi aku. and it's because i've gone through these types of morons that i've learned how to smell you stinking animals. first you'll call sampai aku surrender and pegi lunch/dinner, then borak2 bodoh amik masa berjam2 without talking about work, then start la nak menggatal ajak pegi tempat2 tak senonoh, tangan start nak meraba2... ko ingat aku desperate sgt sampai sanggup buat camtu? i'm not desperate for your orders, so you can fuck off!! skrip korang pakai sumer sama la... mana korang belajar arr?? ada buku panduan ek? basi ok...

korang ni tak malu ke? call aku berkali2 satu hari. bleh tak mamat ni call aku semata2 nak tanya jalan??? aku ingatkan ko berpangkat BESAR, ramai kawan, tanya la kawan2 ko yg lebih berPENGETAHUAN TINGGI!! and then on the next day ajak pi lunch the very last minute. oh.. and the day before msg me just to tell me dia ada bz schedule for that day and the next day, and blablabla.... I DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOUR LIFE LA! AND I DIDNT ASK PUNNNN!!!

ok... msg la aku lagi ajak lunch... aku bawak boss aku skalik. padan muka ko!!

why dont you let ME do the chasing? haa.. time aku kejar order siap la kooo.... aku msg ko tiap jam! baru ko tau betapa rimasnye dpt msg yg merimaskan nih!

apsal korang confident sgt aku nak layan korang ar? sbb korang ada kuasa bagi PO? aku tak gentar sikit pun la. ke korang ingat korang hensem sgt? gaji besar sgt? pangkat tinggi sgt? dpt tido hotel best2 and travel sana sini tanpa bayar se-sen? aku tak heran laaaaaaaaa......... let me tell you... first of all nobody can top my bF so aku tak heran pandang laki lain dah, gaji ko aku rasa lagi rendah dari aku, pangkat ko setakat kuli berkereta besar aku pun tak heran, hotel? travel? i can afford without claiming ok???

yes aku berlagak kat sini. aku berlagak ngan korang sumer. i believe in my actions because my dad tak pernah ajar aku nak melayan orang2 yg hina mcm korang. if i dont make it as a sales manager because of this, then this job is not for me, and i dont care because rezeki can be found anywhere. aku jual air soya pun boleh sara family aku, insyaallah.

you make me sick...

sekian saja luahan hatiku. kepada client2 aku yg lain yg mulia2 tu aku respect kat korang sbb hati ikhlas nak berbisnes dgn cara halal dan betul... may Allah expand your wealth and health.

and to you stinking assholes, go home and fuck your wives, you itchy dicks! eeeeeeee............. nak pegi muntah skg gak. BYE!

My hard-earned love

How does God create this, an art of love beyond dreams
I want to remain here forever
Dreams all fade, create yesterday
But I know this can stay...

Last week, a friend asked me, what makes me love my bf so much?
Simple answer, I told her I feel like no.1 with him.. all the time.
And when you're no.1, you have everything else that follows.
I have love, someone who cares.. and most of all, I have a bestfriend.
It's unlikely for anyone to believe that I could click with him.. but we do click.
I guess the things that I'm lacking, he fills it up for me. Vice versa.
He makes me laugh, he's very affectionate, he appreciates me, he's a wonderful bedtime-story teller, he talks to me about everything...
The fact that he's very sensitive, emotional, and clingy only makes me adore him more and more. In this case, we're so alike. I love to love, so it gives me the chance to love him more... I know you like that, don't you, bee?

The thing is, he makes me feel as if he's been searching for me all these while... I wasn't searching, but I was praying for someone like him.

I feel so attached to him, and I couldn't imagine my life without him.
What would I do without you, bee? You know I love you...



p/s: Yes, I know I'm a little bit (ok, alot!) jiwang here. I can't help it, I'm in love...

Love of My Life...

Where you are, that's where I wanna be
Through your eyes are all the things I wanna see
In the night you are my dream, you're everything to me

You're the love of my life and the breath in my prayers
Take my hand and lead me there
What I need is you here

I can't forget the taste of your mouth
From your lips all the heavens pour out
I can't forget when we are one
With you alone I am free

Everyday, every night, you alone are the love of my life

We go dancing in the moonlight
With the starlight in your eyes
We go dancing till the sunrise
You and me, we're gonna dance, dance, dance