follow your heart

have you ever had 2nd thoughts about your relationship?
well, if you do... trust your instincts. kalau dlm hati dah rasa takkan menjadi, maknanya takkan menjadi... trust me, it happened a lot of times with me.
the sad part is, when you love that person so much, but you have this gut feeling it's not gonna work, and you try to leave that person but you can't... but you know you had to... damn... time tu la rasa nak terjun bangunan...
but, if you do have this uncomfortable feeling it's not gonna work, you have 2 choices - leave it, or work it out...

Leave
it's not easy. the painful part is when the blame is on you. but worst of all the hurt inside.. deep inside where no one knows how you really feel. and you don't know what's ahead of you. how's tomorrow like? will you find someone better? can i survive? will the heartache ever stop... eventually it will stop, could be 2 weeks, 2 years, 20 years... no one knows... but when you do get over it, you'd see things clearer. the pain still lingers but when reality hits back, you'll understand why it's destined to be that way... not that i'm encouraging breakups, but when you do start to have 2nd thoughts, those 2nd thoughts WILL haunt you forever...

Work it out
sounds easy. if it turns out to be okay, you're the winner. and you'd appreciate your efforts more. only if you don't allow those 2nd thoughts to haunt you. but if it turns out to be what you've been doubt-ing (ada ke ayat ni?), then that's the risk you'll have to accept. i always choose to fight and work things out, up to a point i give up when it doesn't work out and go back to the first choice, where i'd leave. not strong enough to fight for your love? well, if the love is worth it, why not... if you think the suffer is worth it, by all means, God will repay for your patience, insyaallah...

i always remind myself, to love myself first., because i always neglect my own feelings.. so i choose to be selfish... i guess too much heartache taught me to be this way...

anyway, i'm happy with how i am now. no 2nd thoughts whatsoever. i try not to think too much anymore. plus the person i'm with right now has filled my heart with happiness... and i have no complains.

bee, stay strong with me... and let's stay in love...