The Lowest Bottomest I Can Be

It's hard if you're a girl, seriously. You're kind, they take advantage. You're mean, they say you're a bitch.

In this world, I find most men to be pigs. Especially the ones who are half-men. They still have a dick so eventually they are considered men. Except more bitchy than women as they claim. I can't understand why the double standard still exists after so much brainwashing the media has given us. Equal rights never did happen in reality.

I have noticed men leaving all the tasks to the women to do, while they go have their cup of coffee. Many times I must say. Their supervisors let them be. But when it is our turn, the girls, we get some lecture.

Men are way more bitches than we women. You fight them, they gang you up. You complain, you get the bad name. You do it in vain, waiting for appreciation... you wish. Forget it, girls. Kau buat rajin macamana pun, takkan ada siapa yang pedulik. You think I may tell you to fight them? Forget it. I'm telling you to chicken out and leave them. They may or may not suffer without you, but at least you don't have to face them anymore. Them he-bitches. They are smart for making use of us. We are dumb to just be kind. Sudah la. Tak berbaloi. Baik duduk rumah jaga anak, pikir Allah. We may feel oppressed here on earth. But the benefits for doing the right thing at the right time, insyaAllah heaven is nearer to us, first. Them he-bitches can cry from hell.

Yup, obviously this post is all about me being depressed. Aku memang anti-lelaki dari kecik. Luckily, I'm not that dumb to label all men that way. Bapak aku lelaki jugak. I am married too, and wish to have a son some day. So, I'm not that all worked up with the idea of anti-men. Though in general, yes, I hate men. I wonder, am I the only one feeling this way? Do other girls get treated this way too? Unrealising they are being used?

I wish we really live the Muslim way. You men just go to work, and leave us all girls at home. You mentally drained people may think this is unfair. I think it's way more fair. Let the men work their asses off. Kerja admin pun biar dorang buat. Jual kereta pakai model lelaki tak boleh ke? Receptionist pun lelaki. Waiter pun lelaki sahaja. We girls should be treated as queens. Or Saloma. Not slave ourselves with paperwork and sorts! In this way, there's no such thing as "takde keje" for men. Because we know, we women are better at doing our jobs, yet easier to be bullied, that's why there are more women at work now. Men.. are just manipulative. That's why also they like to play Command and Conquer.

After earning my degree, some certs here and there, I find myself totally useless by the day. Degree tah ke mana. Kerja dah takde kena mengena dengan apa kita belajar dulu. In the first place you didn't even like the subject you studied before. Sekarang, kerja semua nak humban kat kita. Bila buat salah sikit, nak tulis memo kat kita. Nak tukar kerja dah tak tau nak ke mana. You just don't want to be stuck in a rut like now! You switch jobs but still end up in a shit hole, worse than before. It will always be uglier than the previous one. Always.

Some housewives say it's harder staying at home. Trust me, I'd rather stay at home than to be used, humiliated, scrutinized and caged. You slave at home, at least heaven is waiting for you. It's all worth it. Ini, naik gaji pun sikit. Bonus macam biskut. Layanan macam taik. Neraka pun dekat sebab asyik memaki-hamun, mengumpat, dan sebagainya.

So why am I still working? Duit tak cukup. Hutang banyak. Nak shopping. Makan nak sedap. Baju nak berderet. Kasut nak bertingkat. Yeah, complain but no action. That's how it is with us girls. I'm a coward. The Lowest Bottomest Coward I Can Be.

So to those who quit their jobs, you have my utter respect. Tabik hormat.


Thank you world for making me feel disgusted with everything including myself.


*Men in my context are subject to those who treat women like shit. I believe there are many gentlemen and with good home grown behaviour out there. To them, they have my prayers.