a sip of coffee

sitting, sipping, staring...
on a monday morning
loving the days of my life
loving the man of my life
as i kissed his forehead when he is sleeping
as i pray the love we have everlasting
as we wait for the fruit of love
as i watch the sky above
i know i've been blessed
with everything that i have
everyday is a wonderful day for me
for i have never been so happy
to have him by my side
to have it in my life
to have the love like i've always wanted
to have all my dreams granted
i am blessed
truly blessed...

as i sip my coffee
thanking the days i'm having
and to make my days more interesting
i can feel it kicking...

okay, okay mommy will stop drinking
the coffee that kept me day dreaming

i love you sweetie pie
and i love your daddy too 'til i die

yup.. today is the first kick after 18 weeks...

Another You

In a brisk of dusk
When we needed it most
You just slam it down to the ground
Did anyone ask?
About the loss
Something that I know can never be found

And when I thought
I had my wings spread wide
You came and shatter my pride
What is this?
Another vibe?
I thought I was one of your lies

It's okay, I'm used to it
I'm even used to dying
So when is it this time, Dear God?
Another year of crying
Until you succumb my revenge?
I'm tired of waiting
I'm tired of just watching
Just blast out the vengeance

Guess you can't count
The crows when they're flocking mad
So I'll just sit here
And continue feeling sad
Until the day when You decide
To wipe the dark sky silky white
Because I don't want another you
I don't want another you
I don't fucking want.. another.. youuuuuuuuuuuuu!

As I step away from the garden of youth
Where we all behave like there's no truth
I walk backwards so I can see
The eyes that stare at me
Because I don't want no pack
Pouncing on my back
Sly as a fox, evil like the wolf
We're all pack of wolves
We're all you.. we're all just like you.

Modern Men Are Bitches

Jangan baca. Luahan hati je.

---

I can't believe how bitchy men are nowadays. Where did all the nice gestures, gentleman ways when in pressense of a lady? I can see the difference between elderly man and the younger generation men. It's no wonder why some girls DO PREFER OLDER MAN. It's because they have sense of manners and responsibility!

I'm currently working at site and people here ranged from young to old, all races, both sexes. I have two guys, not working directly under me, but generally we all do have to work as a team, right? But some particular motherfuckers are such hard heads and a lazy ass-bums who are too lazy to even check on the delivery schedule! I received instructions from HQ to do something totally out of our scope, and I tried to fight for my team so we don't have to do unnecessary work, which I know my team is too lazy to do it. I'm lazy to do things out of my scope too, you see. I fought for our rights, and HQ shot back at me. So, okay. Fine. I'll do it. I told those guys to help me out, and what did I get? Hatred in their eyes, as if I puposedly wanted them to do the job! I told them I fought for us, but then they started mocking me. What the fuck, man? What did I do to deserve this?

There's no point of explaining to them because the guys here are just too stubborn to listen, and such a big sulk! I hate cry babies, okay! That's a girls thing! And our 'mini' boss is such a biased longwinded moron! He dumps all the bloody paper works to us girls, and let those guys do the easy jobs, for example receiving goods. They even have time to go for a tea break, twice a day! We have so much paper work to do, we don't have time to do calls to vendors. We told Mr' 'mini' boss we need the guys help to follow up with vendors, but NO.. they had to just give us girls the calling job. So, fine! We'll do that too! We're here working our asses off so that things are in order, and they think we're bossy? A little help wouldn't hurt those muscular built, would it?? Tak JANTAN la korang! Such wusses and pussies. Girls are so much tougher than any of you! (I'm currently talking only about the boys at site)

Guys now are smart to dump all the work to us girls, because they know we can do it. Girls are so independent, they don't need men to help, unless relating to lifting heavy stuff or what not. So, they take advantage of us. Not only that, guys now know how to sulk! Merajuk! If you sulk with your wife I don't care lah! Tak malu ke nak merajuk ngan orang lain? In front of other people pulak tu? If you compare with elderly men, they'd be happy to help at anytime, no doubt. When they ask for help, they'll ask very politely. In fact, I seldom see them ask for help. They'll do the job and if it comes to a dead end, they'll ask for help. With smiles and manners. They don't say nasty words. They don't give hints. They understand that women have tempers and are very sensitive, they avoid anything that would make us sad or mad. Because the elderly knows better that when they are kind to us, we are more than happy to give a helping hand when they need it.

Not like you young assholes. Dah la cakap tak berlapis. Malas. Kuat merajuk. Patu nak kita buat sumer keje? Ok, takpe... semoga anda goyang kaki tak kerja langsung sampai mati, and feed on your wives! Have a nice life!

Middle ring pedal to the metal

From: akira
Apr 21, 2005 10:15 PM

yeah!10 point for me! :D

dulu my office is at PhileoPromenade,ampang,then moved to PJ :( jauh.now kat Bukit Jalil Golf&Country club.
Baru 3 month kat sini.Selalu i lunch kat SriPetaling. tak best nyer tempat makan are situ kan?tp ada Secret Recipe!

hahaha..muka u serious je masa driving,liek tgh amik gambar IC,comel sgt!
hope dpt jumpa u on the hiway lagi.next time i'll horn you..better beware! ;P

thanks for replying.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: dibitz
Date: Apr 20, 2005 3:11 AM

yeap! it was me alrite! hahahah... mmg i pegi keje kat sri petaling via mrr2. today is my 3rd day working here... is ur ofis around here too?? i thought ur office is around kl town. anyway, kalau u lalu2 sri petaling stop by la ye :)

thanks for noticing.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: akira
Date: Apr 20, 2005 6:00 PM

Hi dibz.

semalam around 630pm i rasa i nampak u tgh drive kereta putih..plat no bhvsumthing.. i cant remember.. kat middle ring road on. is that you?

mula2 u on my left side, mulut i tiba2 tercakap..eh dib!
then u potong i, n then ur on left side and i rasa.. eh mmg la tu dib.
i nak horn tapi takut nanti u terkejut n langgar kereta i pulak hehe.

btul ke tu u eh?


-----
The affair I didn't notice...
We'd switch traffic reports. Complained how sucky Sri Petaling and Bukit Jalil were. We exchanged mp3s. I'd listen to his problems. I'd scold him for being a fool. We'd sulk with each other for no reason.
I was jealous for no reason. He was angry for no reason.

We never talked.. until the following April.

He is my husband now...

April, always a surprise for me, year after year...

I love you. You always came back...

recharged

i'm back again. after revitalising and rejuvenating my mind, i feel like a new person altogether. it's not that i've been gone or anything. i was just blogging elsewhere and made new friends, out of my circle, out of the country. when you're sick with coffee, maybe you should try lemonade instead.

going through few months of solitary taught me how to appreciate life and what i've got. made me even more unimpressed with what others have to brag about, infact feeling annoyed most of the wasted time. apparently, other friends' passions impress me. i admire those who moved on and tried something new (nothing to do with vacation here, please), and those who sacrifice their free time to survive. i love people with ideas and implementing them. these are the people who make me more happy in the things i do.

and to find out from friends that they too face many challenges during their first year of marriage. it's like a test on us to see how we handle it. i guess we passed with crazy colours!

i'm definitely a happier person now. it's not easy to influence me anymore.


i appreciate the things around me and make the most of it. (motto of the year hehe)

Married, I am...

Fuh.. it's been a while since I blogged...
I'm finally married! I can't express how happy and grateful I am. Everything went well, thanks to my lovely sistas and friends.. Like my aunt said, you can't find friends like them anywhere.. she's darn right! I don't know what I'd do without them.. bless them.. bless them..

Well, getting married should be simple, if you're a Muslim. But not these days, when Muslim receptions are trying to compete with the Chinese receptions! Orang Cina kalau buat kenduri kawin, macam bisnes dah. Kalau angpow kurang dari RM500, sori la nak makan kat meja ber-aircond, dok luar la mkn nasi ayam.. hahaha... no la, I'm just exaggerating. Tapi lebih kurang la tu. Dorang nak make sure kenduri tu balik modal. Cina, biasa la.. sumer bisnes...

Nak kawin? Senang je. Pegi kursus kawin, dengar betul-betul especially part camne nak isi borang permohonan kawin. Kursus kawin ni sebenarnya tu la tujuannya, nak ajar cara isi borang je. And I think it's kinda leceh gak la, especially kalau your partner is from another state. Luckily my husband orang KL gak (wow.. my "husband"!). Kursus kawin I hampeh sket, dia tak ajar betul-betul camne nak isi borang. Tak macam kursus kawin Deb, siap ajar tulis atas borang satu satu. Cis.. So, we ended up naik turun JAWI berapa kali gak la. It's a good thing we did it like months before we got engaged.

Thanks to b-Fyzal, he encouraged me to do things way ahead of time. Bayangkan la, 3 bulan sebelum kawin dah siap book dewan & caterer, HIV test, isi borang, amik borang, tempah baju, cameraman, blablabla.. patu tunggu hari jek. Those are the important things la. Last minute things like gubahan hantaran, kemas rumah, accessories pengantin, inai tu sumer tetap kelam kabut la.. demmit. Sedikit fail di sana. Sometimes the little things tu la nanti orang pertikaikan. Contohnya la.. my inai nih, bagi I dah cukup la ada kaler sudah la.. tapi utk makcik pakcik, oh sungguh tidak cukup merahnya... what the hell, I tengok cantik aje.. hihi. Takpe, kang bertandang I inai biar hitam terus.

I think the most difficult part of my wedding... is my mom. Ya Rasul.... I know she's excited and all, and I'm so thankful she's part of my wedding, and approves it.. but when she's stubborn... she's STUBBORN! No, I bukannya cerewet pasal gubahan ke, colour theme ke, tu sumer I bagi dia pilih. Tapi bila I pesan siap sumer awal-awal, dia tanak dengar, itu boleh membikinkan panik satu dunia! Just imagine, malam sebelum nikah tu I dok lari ke sana kemari pasal hantaran.. aiyo.. and she merajuk with me that night, sumer orang tanak tolerate sebab dah stress. I tension sebab my friends had to do the running too.
Moral: Pegi je upah orang buatkan hantaran kalau tak pernah buat. Kecoh aje.
But in the end, it all came up well, alhamdulillah...
Tapi, you tanya la sape-sape pun, stress tu sumer datang dari family, tak kira la makpak ke aunty-uncle ke adik-beradik.. family la.

I'm sure most of you know this already, my akad nikah was done in English.. hihihi.. sebab my dad kan pelat BM nih, so he wanted to do it in English, and of course b-Fyzal kena jawab in English la kan. 3 months before the wedding, I booked the Tok Kadi and told him to do the akad, at that time I thought it'd be better since my dad couldn't speak malay well, and normally kita melayu nikah dlm BM. Tapi masa rehearsal bleh plak Tok Kadi tu tanya my dad beberapa kali samada dia nak walikan and do the akad. Tah camne dia punya saiko my dad, my dad agreed to do the akad and the Tok Kadi recommended to do in English. Secara rohaninya, b-Fyzal and I dah pengsan. hahahaha.. well, I underestimated my super-dad! Masa akad tu.. secara coolnya dia telah menikahkan I.. hehehe...

And coming to b-Fyzal plak, masa nak jawab akad tu ada 2 options: satu ayat panjang, satu ayat pendek. The nite before, dia dah gabra and told me he couldn't do the long sentence sebab masa lafaz tu dah start tersasul here and there (Ni practice the day before tau..sebelum ni dah practice versi BM berbulan2, last minit kena buat English lak). So we agreed to do the short sentence.
But, he surprised me on the nikah day, when he replied with the long sentence! Sekali jek, and sah! We're married. hehe.. After all that, I asked him why he read the longer one instead? Tersasul ke? And he told me, he wanted to mention my name when marrying me.. awww... you so lomantik one lohhh...

"I hereby accept A***** binti A**** in marriage with mahar as declared"
Sounds simple, tapi cuba prektis berkali-kali with clear pronunciations, berbelit gak lama-lama.. hahaha..

I'm thankful that the food during reception was great. Everyone had their favourite lauk. Mine of course was the main table, waitress tu siap kopekkan udang kitorang okkk... mengada betul lah! Tempat cantik. Orang yang datang pun cantik-cantik, hensem-hensem.. AJK-AJK superb giler.. tak habis-habis I puji dorang.

Overall, my wedding was a success! Mengikut timeline and budget. Me and b-Fyzal, I think we make a great partner. My friends, they make a marvellous team! And oh.. tah camne dorang ni bleh ada chemistry ngan caterer, kan? Eye contact is just what they needed to communicate.. hebatlah! Saya bangga!

I would like to thank:
1. My beautiful sister Aisha who helped a lot.. When you said you'll stand by me no matter what, you kept your words. I WUV YOU!
2. Ashraf... for just being there! Thank God... When you're 25, you'll know why I always bebel at you...
3. Fara for helping from the very beginning and being my maid of honour.
4. Elly, Skin, Biq for handling all the caterers, hall and changing room, and always making sure the guests are okay, expecially rombongan lelaki. Thanks for running around doing last minutes errands for me too. Korang mmg bahan bualan aunty-aunty I. Memang tepatlah pilihan I meminta bantuan korang.
5. Arab for being the MC yang menggolekkan bunga pahar I hahahaha... kelakar nak mampos! Suara abang Arab memang mencongkam!! You guys won't believe if I said he can be a great MC! Serious! (tapi sebelum tu kena kasi dia karaoke sorang-sorang test mic dulu la)
6. Zamani who handled everything (especially my mom) like a professional event manager and for being b-Fyzal's bestman.
7. Hasrul for helping out with everything too! Thanks for the cars (yours and Skin's) for loading all those stuffs, last minute kereta I bleh rosak la plak kan...
8. GBam and Palie for being our photographers.. mana gambar wehhh... tak sabooo...
9. Nawwal for being my eldest sister once again.
10. Deb, Nan and KakDik for so many great advices and also for the lovely gubahan hantaran pihak lelaki... mak mertua I suka sgt lapik dulang tu haaa... cantik sgt katanya.
11. My parents.. for everything! I miss them already.. (padahal dekat nak mampos)

Did I miss anyone out?
Anyway, without them it wouldn't have happened the way I wanted..


I'm happy the wedding of my dreams finally came true.. simple and memorable. And I married the most wonderful man I've ever met... The last thing I need from my family and friends is to pray for my happiness, as I always pray for theirs... Love you all!


To my husband, Faizal.. Yatta! Everything happened because of you.. Thank you for all you've done. You make me love you more and more each day... Aishiteru!

Now darling.. can we finally go catch a movie??

seminggu lagi!!!

yes sometimes people blame us for being ignorant, when actually our heads are full of silly stuffs to think of... cth: mak i tak jumpa songkok yg nak letak atas hantaran.. bleh tak? and my parents bought another Quran to put on the dulang, padahal i dah beli dah Quran tu.. and apatah lagi la... huhuhuhu... takde la pening sgt tapi berkerut dahi la sbb rasa benda2 camni tak sepatutnya terjadi, tapi dia jadik gak la kan...

i guess they're excited as i am, but i worry they pay too much attention to the wrong things. coz i'm the first to sit on the throne for the day, we have no experience what so ever in weddings. ikutkan hati i belasah je wedding planner.. seminggu sebelum tu pun sempat nak tgk wayang and joli katak dulu... hah... bertuah punya pompuan. tapi i kena jaga hati mak i gak, dia yg nak buat gubahan tu, i bagi la dia buat.. and telur pun dia nak rebus sendiri, and kek pun dia nak deco2 gak, and baju adik i pun dia nak buatkan, and my make up pun dia nak buatkan, and and and.. fuh.. terer tul dia... (tapi i pening kepala takut tak sempat siap).. i love my mom so much.. i know she's trying hard...

i know my friends will understand why i suddenly isolate myself. anyway, they keep calling me up and keep updates on my progress... i'm so fortunate to have good friends.

anyway, this is just an apology blog and i hope everyone understands it. i told myself before lepas kawin i tetap nak lepak2 with friends... make sure i do that...

nite..

p/s: aisha, thank you for shellac-ing my kitchen cabinet! sudah cantikkk... hihihihi...
p/s: bee.................. one more weeeeek!!!!!! i love you so much!! you're just an amazing person. i'm the luckiest girl on earth...